1. I can't reach my license unless you hold
my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar
detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village
People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph
to keep up with me! Good job!
5. Excuse me. Is "stick up"
hyphenated?
6. I though you had to be in relatively good
physical condition to be a police officer.
7. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to
finish high school instead.
8. Bad cop! No donut!
9. You're not gonna check the trunk, are
you?
10. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire
confidence.
11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on
"Cops"?
12. Wow, you look just like the guy in the
picture on my girlfriend's nightstand!
13. Is it true that people become cops
because they are too dumb to work at McDonald's?
14. I pay your salary!
15. So, uh, you on the take, or what?
16. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last
officer only gave me a warning, too!
17. Do you know why you pulled me over? OK,
just so one of us does.
18. I was trying to keep up with traffic.
Yes, I know there is no other car around me-that's how far
ahead of me they are.
19. What do you mean. "Have I been
drinking?" You're the trained specialist.
20. Well, when I reached down to pick up my
bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the
brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of
control.
21. Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing
compared to this .44 magnum.