On Monday night, the world was shocked, shocked
when, after all the hand-wringing over Chaz Bono’s fiendish insistence on existing
, it actually seemed that HLN’s Nancy Grace
was the one to plunge our nation’s children into depravity. The worst depravity of all in fact, the depravity of a briefly viewed human female breast
! However, Grace has spoken out, denying that that slightly different shade of pink that we saw for a second was actually her nipple.
Thank God. I guess my children won’t be going to Hell after all.
Here’s what she told the good folks at TMZ:
“‘When I got dressed, I was wearing Petals (nipple covers) and an industrial strength bra … my dancing dress also had a bra sewn into it.’
Nancy adds, ‘I have been judged guilty without a trial … I will go to my grave denying the nip slip.’”
Judged guilty without a trial! I’m appalled! That’s not the way America’s supposed to work. Here in America, people are supposed to get a trial. Then they’re supposed to be judged guilty anyway no matter what.
Here’s the original Dancing with the Stars video so all of you super nipple sleuths can do you best to suss out the truth. You should be informed, however, that there are plenty of other nipples, arguably better shot and more visible, on other places of the Internet. Just so you know.